comic "relief"

Caution: I debated posting this on and off all morning because it’s slightly embarrassing. But the fact that I’ve been getting amazing amounts of encouragement and support for the honesty I share with you through my blog has helped me decide to go for it. My temporary (hopefully) embarrassment is a very small and very worthy sacrifice in exchange for shedding some light on very common, normal and hilarious tidbits on my last month as a penguin. 

                       “Did you just cough and pee yourself?”

So, the other night I was experiencing some pretty intense pressure on my pelvis and lower back. Apparently baby is sitting reaallllyy low right now, and that’s a good thing because “things are lining up nicely”, according to my midwife. This also means limited or no bladder control...

“James, my back is hurting again. Want to have a bath?”

“Sure, meet you there.”

*Warm baths have been my salvation... some people have told me that they raise your body temperature too much for baby and may not be safe, but I categorize that advice into my personal little 'Overdramatic and Questionable Advice' pile. It's not like I am bringing myself to boil and remaining on simmer for an hour.

I waddle my way into the bathroom a couple minutes later to find baby daddy already sprawled out in the tub in starfish pose, enjoying the space and freedom before I flop in and take over. (At eight and a half months pregnant I’m 27lbs heavier than usual.) I fling off my jammies, huffing and puffing away, when suddenly, I feel a huge cough coming on. I am too excited about the relief my back and I are about to experience from floating in warm water to brace myself. Sure enough, my bladder chooses this particular moment to disengage. 

“Did you just cough and pee yourself?”

“Yup...  it's been happening all the time. I told you that!”

“Yeah... but I actually just totally watched it happenl!!! You coughed, and then it just came out!” He leans out over the edge of our bathtub and peers onto the floor. Great, there’s even  a little pool of evidence. 

“Oh my God it’s right there on the floor!!” This pushes him over the edge. James is now peeing his own self, so to speak, laughing hysterically and splashing away in the tub.

It is completely beyond my comprehension how people conceal from each other these types of awkward yet amusing stories. (Perhaps another symptom of Tight Ass Syndrome.) And why would you? They are hilarious and deserve to be shared. I hope you agree.

Pools of laughter,

Martyna